Saturday, June 25, 2016

balada cucian basah : God's way of comforting

sabtu 25/6 (4:25 pm

baru aja kemaren ini gua mendapatkan 'pelajaran' dari cucian yang terlalu lama direndam dan didiamkan hingga akhirnya menguarkan bau yang ga sedap eh hari ini gua harus berhadapan dengan hal itu lagi walau kali ini kejadiannya bukan disengaja ataupun karena kelalaian gua

kemaren sore menjelang malam hujan turun cukup deras dan pagi ini ketika gua menengok ke tempat mencuci baju - gua hampir mau nangis melihat ember besar berisi pakaian kotor dipenuhi air yang merendam baju2 yang sedang menanti giliran dicuci minggu depan

i wasn't in my best condition and i felt both physically and emotionally tired lately karenanya melihat tumpukan baju yang harus segera dicuci agar ga bau - i was nearly having my emotional breakdown

earlier last night i cried myself to sleep and i was talking to Him that i was tired - well perhaps He was also tired of having me told Him how tired i was so that time i didn't have any words of encouragements from the Scripture that used to come flashing to my mind XD

but God has His own ways of comforting - sometimes thru simple little things that i might have taken for granted if i wasn't aware enough to pay some attention

the first thing was when i got back from the market

my older brother drove me there and out of 10 times he drove me anywhere for groceries shopping well it might be 0 times he helped me carrying things i bought inside the house but today when we got back he carried some plastic bags without me even had to ask him to do so

this saturday was supposed a time for me to spend with my 3 friends - celebrating my friend's b'day which was on last may 13 but since my mom's condition ain't well i had to cancel my attendance but i only let the birthday girl knew beforehand as for the other two i told them via whatsapp near our appointed time cause i felt bad having to reschedule again

to my surprise the girls decided to pay me a visit after they had lunch and walked around the mall - i somehow felt touched :'D

so yeah i still feel tired at times but with these God's unexpected little comforts today i think i will manage to hang on a bit longer ^o^

sabtu 25/6 (4:45 pm

Saturday, June 11, 2016

11 minggu, h-1

sabtu 11/6 (8:32 pm

dear Ii

sebelas minggu sudah engkau pergi meninggalkan kami
tujuh puluh tujuh hari berlalu tanpa kehadiranmu di sisi kami

we miss you Ii
i miss you

dear Ii

besok akan tiba hari yang telah Ii nanti2kan
hari yang selalu Ii tanyakan di kala Ii sakit
kemudian Ii akan terdiam dan menerawang menatap langit2 rumah sakit

dear Ii

apakah Ii telah tahu bahwa Ii tidak akan bisa menghadiri pernikahan anak bungsu Ii
karenanya tatapan Ii menjadi sedih tiap kali membahas hari h yang ditunggu2

dear Ii

tidak terasa besok putra bungsu Ii akan menikahi perempuan pilihannya
calon menantu perempuan yang telah Ii restui
hanya berselang tujuh puluh delapan hari sejak kepergian Ii

dear Ii

walau Ii tidak lagi ada bersama kami
tapi Ii tetap bisa melihat kami khan dari atas sana

dear Ii

i know i should've stopped questioning the 'what if'
but at times i'm still hoping
you are still around and be with us

perhaps one day it might not hurt this much anymore Ii
you surely had made our lives much easier and more comfortable to live
it's now time for us to work ourselves to make it easier without you

i miss you Ii

what i remember most about your last days
was how you in your sickness could still make us laugh with your jokes and funny expressions when you told us things

i hope one day i will be able to remember you on your healthier days Ii
cause i want to remember you with a smile on my face
for you are such a wonderful person

i miss you Ii

sabtu 11/6 (8:45 pm